Helping men who are going through divorce find the resources, information, and guidance they need.
I’m Barry Spalding, and as you all know, I’ve recently been through a divorce. Divorce has a bad reputation, and most people say that divorce is a “trial” to get through. When people hear that you’re divorced, they automatically feel sympathy for you while at the same time wondering what you did wrong.
Well, I was recently talking with some divorce attorneys in Pittsburgh about the topic of divorce, and we were discussing how it’s not always a bad thing to get a divorce. In many cases, it’s actually the best thing for your life.
So, why the bad juju every time you tell someone you’re divorced? How can you help people understand that like many changes in life, some changes are for the best?
It’s time we de-stigmatize divorce. I’m not saying everyone should take divorce lightly, but I just think that any lingering guilt you feel over your divorce might be unwarranted.
When Is Divorce Okay?
No one ever goes into a marriage believing that it will eventually fail . . . unless it’s some kind of sham marriage, but that doesn’t count. You wanted your marriage to succeed, but it didn’t. Sometimes, there are ways to make the marriage work, and sometimes it’s time to cut your losses and move on with your life.
Below are a few times when getting a divorce might not be a bad thing. Keep in mind, I’m not advising anyone to get a divorce! I’m just trying to help you deal with feelings of grief, failure, or guilt because your marriage has come to an end.
If there are issues of domestic violence in a marriage, it’s probably time to get out. No one should put up with abuse, whether physical or verbal. You have every right to seek out a better life for yourself or for any children who are involved in the family.
Lack of Trust
When trust is gone, the relationship will turn sour. Whether your spouse cheated, or there were other issues involving abuse of trust, you might believe that it’s time to throw in the towel. Without trust, it’s difficult to build a relationship back up.
When one spouse abuses substances, their behavior can destroy a marriage. They can get involved in legal trouble, and they can be a poor influence in the lives of children. Divorce might be the best option if your spouse refuses to get help for substance abuse issues.
Barry Spalding for Divorce Advice
No one is telling you to get a divorce, but it’s not always a bad thing. There are many more reasons why you might decide that divorce is the right option for you. It’s time to put away the guilt and feelings of failure, and understand that life is about change. Move on with your life and put this in the past.
I’m Barry Spalding, and I’ll be back next week with more tips, advice, and divorce info for my boys!