Top 3 Divorce Woes and How to Avoid Them

Barry Spalding – helping men who are going through divorce find the resources, information, and guidance they need.

Divorce is not pleasant for anyone, but it’s worse for some than for others. For instance, some people have nasty divorces that drag on for months or years. Others have amicable divorces that aren’t so emotional or distressing. It’s possible to avoid some of the struggles and stress of a divorce. . .if you want to.

You could avoid these struggles by following the related advice. Straight from a Lakeland personal injury lawyer, whose friend was going through a divorce, here are a few divorce woes many people worry about:

Advice for Avoiding These Divorce Issues


One of the main issues people face when going through a divorce is the ugly fights. It’s easy to fall into the habit of fighting over everything, but you don’t have to engage. You can choose to walk away or have your lawyer handle any divorce issues that need to be resolved. 

If your relationship with your ex has deteriorated to the point where you can’t even have a rational conversation, it’s time to walk away. You don’t have to give in and join these fights, no matter how much you want to be heard and want to get your point across. 

There’s a point of no return where you just have to let it go. Some things are worth fighting for and other things aren’t. Choose your battles wisely.

Blaming Yourself

Many people, especially men, blame themselves for the divorce. Maybe you did have a part to play in the outcome of the marriage, but blaming yourself constantly isn’t going to fix the problem. If your marriage is beyond repair, it’s time to accept the responsibility you had in the dissolution of the marriage, and it’s time to move on. 

Learn from your mistakes and apply what you’ve learned to future relationships. It’s not healthy to remain stuck in a cycle of blaming yourself for how things turned out. You won’t be able to move on if you do that.

Parent Guilt

Feeling guilty over the kids means you’re a good parent. If you care about how your kids will be impacted by the divorce, you’re one step closer to helping them get through this. Talk to your kids and help them cope. Get them therapy if they need it and always be there for them. Parent guilt is hard to let go of, but you need to move on and help them move on.

Barry Spalding Is Bringing You Divorce Help

Going through a divorce is always going to be tough, but you can make the process easier on yourself by avoiding these common pitfalls.

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How to Stay Calm Through Your Divorce

Barry Spalding – helping men who are going through divorce find the resources, information, and guidance they need.

It is such a frustrating and distressing life event—divorce. You would have liked your marriage to go well, but things don’t always work out the way we plan. That is certainly true for me, as you all know. I went through a divorce, and it was a terrible experience. I did not remain calm, and I know in hindsight that I made the situation much worse for myself.

That’s why I want to do everything I can to help your divorce case go more smoothly. One of the most important things you can do to make things better for yourself is to not let your emotions get the best of you. Make sure that you analyze your divorce case rationally, with as little emotion as possible. 

My friend, a Richmond personal injury lawyer, told me he knew a guy who went through the most amicable divorce he’d ever seen. He said that his friend said the key to an amicable divorce is calm. It’s easy to say, “Be calm!” It’s something else to know how to do it. Here are two big tips on how to stay calm when you’re going through a divorce.

Two Important Tips for Keeping Calm in Your Divorce

When a divorce case is spiraling out of control, and you can’t figure out which end is up, this is the time to step back and follow these two important tips.

Tip #1 – Look at the Big Picture

It’s really easy to get caught up arguing over the painting you and your spouse bought in Hawaii, but is it really that important to you? Step back and think about what you really need from your divorce. The details can take over your emotions, and you later realize that you wasted all that energy on things you don’t really care about.

Tip #2 – Wait a Few Days

Many people react irrationally in the heat of the moment. When something is upsetting you during your divorce, take the time to mull things over. Usually, with a few days, you will be able to react calmly and rationally when you wouldn’t have been able to in the moment.

Barry Spalding Is on Your Side

It’s tough to stay calm when going through something as stressful as a divorce. I hope that the information on this page was useful for you, and I hope that it helps you get through your divorce with the least amount of issues as possible. Visit my site again soon if you need more information related to getting through your divorce in one piece.

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Can You Modify a Spousal Support Order?

Barry Spalding – helping men who are going through divorce find the resources, information, and guidance they need.

Most people who are going through a divorce wonder whether they will have to pay spousal support, especially if they were the provider for the family. Spousal support was designed with the intention of evening out the financial playing field after a marriage ends. Spousal support is ordered to maintain the status quo until both parties are able to support themselves.

Depending on the length of a marriage, spousal support can be temporary or long-term. For example, for some couples who were married for a short time, the spousal support might be ordered for a year or less following the divorce. Other couples might deal with spousal support for the rest of their lives, though this later example is rare.

If you’ve been ordered by the court to provide spousal support, you might be wondering how long your spousal support will last and whether you can modify a spousal support order.

Reasons to Modify a Spousal Support Order

There are many reasons that a person might need to modify an order for spousal support. Suppose you lose your job and don’t have the money to pay your ex. This would be a good reason to modify a spousal support order. 

Or, what if you hear that your ex just landed a high paying job or remarried? You will probably want the court to revisit the need for spousal support or at least lower your payments due to the fact that your ex is now more self-sufficient. 

Modifying an Order for Spousal Support

Plenty of reasons exist for modifying a spousal support order, so here’s some information as to how to do it. Every state will have a slightly different process for modifying spousal support orders, but the basic steps are outlined below: 

  • Complete the required court forms and file them with the court.
  • Set up a court date.
  • Serve your ex with court papers showing them the court date and explaining that you are requesting a modification to your spousal support order.
  • File the proof of service.
  • Show up to the court hearing and explain to the judge why you believe your spousal support order should be modified.
  • The judge will make a decision, and you should follow any new court order.

Barry Spalding Will Be Back Soon

Thanks for visiting my website. Hopefully, you are finding the information I provide useful. I’m always here to help men who are dealing with the divorce process. Come back soon for more information and resources related to divorce.

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Is Divorce Always a Bad Thing?

Helping men who are going through divorce find the resources, information, and guidance they need.

I’m Barry Spalding, and as you all know, I’ve recently been through a divorce. Divorce has a bad reputation, and most people say that divorce is a “trial” to get through. When people hear that you’re divorced, they automatically feel sympathy for you while at the same time wondering what you did wrong. 

Well, I was recently talking with some divorce attorneys in Pittsburgh about the topic of divorce, and we were discussing how it’s not always a bad thing to get a divorce. In many cases, it’s actually the best thing for your life. 

So, why the bad juju every time you tell someone you’re divorced? How can you help people understand that like many changes in life, some changes are for the best? 

It’s time we de-stigmatize divorce. I’m not saying everyone should take divorce lightly, but I just think that any lingering guilt you feel over your divorce might be unwarranted. 

When Is Divorce Okay?

No one ever goes into a marriage believing that it will eventually fail . . . unless it’s some kind of sham marriage, but that doesn’t count. You wanted your marriage to succeed, but it didn’t. Sometimes, there are ways to make the marriage work, and sometimes it’s time to cut your losses and move on with your life.

Below are a few times when getting a divorce might not be a bad thing. Keep in mind, I’m not advising anyone to get a divorce! I’m just trying to help you deal with feelings of grief, failure, or guilt because your marriage has come to an end.

Domestic Violence

If there are issues of domestic violence in a marriage, it’s probably time to get out. No one should put up with abuse, whether physical or verbal. You have every right to seek out a better life for yourself or for any children who are involved in the family.

Lack of Trust

When trust is gone, the relationship will turn sour. Whether your spouse cheated, or there were other issues involving abuse of trust, you might believe that it’s time to throw in the towel. Without trust, it’s difficult to build a relationship back up.

Substance Abuse

When one spouse abuses substances, their behavior can destroy a marriage. They can get involved in legal trouble, and they can be a poor influence in the lives of children. Divorce might be the best option if your spouse refuses to get help for substance abuse issues.

Barry Spalding for Divorce Advice

No one is telling you to get a divorce, but it’s not always a bad thing. There are many more reasons why you might decide that divorce is the right option for you. It’s time to put away the guilt and feelings of failure, and understand that life is about change. Move on with your life and put this in the past. 

I’m Barry Spalding, and I’ll be back next week with more tips, advice, and divorce info for my boys!


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Five Tips to Get Your Divorce to Go Smoother

Helping men who are going through divorce find the resources, information, and guidance they need.

Hi there, fellas! Barry here. Today, I want to offer you some tips on getting through your divorce a little easier. Men can be stubborn, can have a strong sense of justice, and sometimes we want to fight on principle alone. We know it would make our lives more difficult, but it’s the principle of the thing, right? We want justice! We want someone held accountable for our suffering!

Unfortunately, this is the exact opposite way of looking at divorce. It’s easy to blame the other party for the breakdown of the marriage, but in the end, this serves no one. You won’t win, they won’t win, and any children will certainly not win.

If you want to have a stressful battle of a divorce, then by all means continue down the path of anger and vengeance. But, if you want to have an easier divorce process and move on with your life, read through the following tips.

Five Tips to Make Your Divorce Process Easier

We’ve compiled five important tips to help you get through this process as quickly and easily as possible. Most of these tips were given to us by some Milwaukee divorce lawyers who are experienced with divorce matters and know what they’re talking about.

Tip 1 – Don’t Hide Assets

It’s tempting to hide money, because you don’t want your ex to “win.” This will hurt you in the long run, so don’t do it.

Tip 2 – Don’t Lie

Don’t try to claim your ex acted irrationally, abused substances, or hurt the children if they didn’t do these things. You will lose all credibility for lies.

Tip 3 – Let Go of Anger and Think Rationally About Your Future

Try to think about what you want after divorce, and not how you want to punish your ex today.

Tip 4 – Don’t Do Anything Stupid

Don’t do anything that could damage your future or the lives of any children you have together. It’s easy to make a decision in anger or frustration that you will regret forever.

Tip 5 – Communicate

Talk about everything. Talk to your lawyer, to your family, to your therapist, to your children. Tell them how you’re feeling, and what you want after divorce.

Barry Spalding Provides Divorce Tips

Hopefully these five tips will help you get through your divorce a little easier.

I’m Barry Spalding, and I’m here to help you get through your divorce with as little stress and suffering as possible. I will continue to provide information and support to all the men who are beginning or already in the throes of a divorce. Don’t despair, fellas!

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